Thursday, April 30, 2009

Die Hard 5: The open seas

This is Cinema Showdown's pitch for Die Hard 5, inspired by the 62 year old British tourist who saved a cruise liner and its 1,000 passengers by swatting pirates with a deck chair.
Die Hard: The Open Seas
No Johnny Depp here, we still love Bruce Willis and his bald head.
FADE UP: Sunny day, tropical location, a solitary cruise ship gracefully sails across the open seas, obviously isolated.
CUT TO: JOHN MCCLAIN relaxes on a deck chair, next to him is his on again, off again wife, HOLLY. They're hoping this cruise will put their relationship back together, but HOLLY is doubtful. Nevertheless, how could you not enjoy the sunshine and cute boys bringing you umbrella drinks? HOLLY asks for sunscreen, they are out. JOHN gets up to go back to the room for more sunscreen. He really wants to leave the cruise as a couple. JOHN exits the pool area. CUT TO: Nasty, filthy Somali PIRATES approach in a blow-up boat. The camera follows John to his room, intercut with shots of the pirates stealthily approaching. JOHN MCCLAIN comes down the elevator and the doors open to reveal and pirate pointing an assault rifle at none other than HOLLY. She doesn't see him, no one sees him and good old JOHN MCCLAIN springs into action. He is wearing only swim trunks and is unarmed.
JOHN MCCLAIN spends the rest of the film crawling around the secret corridors of the cruise ship, picking off pirate by pirate in his bare feet, using only what he has available to him. (I wonder if Purelle is a weapon?)
THE PIRATES grab the ship's CAPTAIN and JOHN MCCLAIN is the only one there with the sense to try to contact the Navy or anyone who can help. Except that the current President is an anti-military amateur and he shackles the Navy. They are unable to help. The PIRATES threaten to start picking off passengers, after they raid the kitchen and have themselves a 7 course meal. JOHN MCCLAIN plays waiter and is able to take out some PIRATES there, and now he has a gun. Yippie Kai Yea!
To sum it up, JOHN MCCLAIN saves the cruise liner, exposes the president for what he is, kills all the PIRATES to keep them out of US COURTS and off our taxpayer rolls forever, (he comments to that fact) and the Navy shows up to escort them home. HOLLY is proud of her hero again and they get remarried by the ship's chaplain as the rest of the passengers disembark.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Language Arts

The two movies we watched over the weekend were Observe and Report new in theatres and The Fountainhead starring Gary Cooper, in black and white. Outside of the content and subject matter, the stark difference between these two films are the use of language. Observe and Report drops profanity ever other line, even going as far to show the characters spray painting 4 letter words on the sides of buildings. The Fountainhead has a beautiful, real English language flow. I guess people just don't talk that way anymore. We're always taught to write conversationally, but what if the level of conversation has dropped? Are we still to stoop the lowest of low? Bring back the golden days of Hollywood, when writers were masters of the language and some of the best examples are in those classic movies. Snappy dialog, smart women, suave men who could sweep dames off their feet with a pithy comment or two, those were the days!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Summer Movies Fast Approaching

Just three weeks from the big summer blockbusters and while the rest of the economy is in the toilet, Hollywood ticket sales continue to baffle. Most weekends since the start of '09 have been record setting or record breaking. Who would have thought that Fast and Furious 4 would bring in 70 million dollars domestic? Having not seen ads for the film, I thought they just re-released the first one. Get ready for astounding numbers from summer films as Americans continue to look for escapism.

Summer movies kick off May 1 with Wolverine, but never fear, the weeks leading up to the tentpole films are jammed packed with good entertainment. This week is the first Hannah Montana feature film, not concert film; It should score big. Also Seth Rogan is back in Observe and Report. Next week Russell Crowe stars in the political thriller State of Play and Zac Efron is 17 again. The last weekend in April brings Jamie Fox and Robert Downey JR in the Soloist, probably the most adult/ cerebral movie we're gonna get for a while.

May 1 Wolverine shows up, followed by Star Trek on May 8, followed by the much anticipated Angels and Demons (pre-quel to Davinci Code) on May 15, the memorial day weekend's double play of Terminator Salvation and Night at the Museum 2. May closes out with the first animated summer movie, Up. How can you possibly keep with this much exciting stuff? Never fear, Cinema Showdown is here!

Cheap places to see movies
Who can afford $10/ ticket plus another 14 for popcorn and drinks. You're topping $35 for a date night. Factor in babysitter and gas money and this night out is almost unaffordable- almost.
We hardly ever see night movies anymore. First of all the crowds are impossible and have no respect for other audience members, secondly it's just too darned expensive. The Traders wait for Saturday or Sunday morning and catch the shows for $5. The other great thing about that is as good as it might smell, 10:30am is just too early for popcorn. Theatres that serve real food have the best deals. The AMC Fork and Spoon in the Tower Shopping Center and the Movie Tavern on LaVista offer $5 movies until 5pm. The first showing is around noon because they do sell food and make their money off burgers and pizza. The Movie Tavern has deals on Saturday morning for family films, $10 gets you a movie and all you can eat pancakes. AMC theatres have an early bird special Fri-Sun and holidays $6 for a film before noon.

Our favorite deal is the Starlight Drive in. Seven dollars per person, kids 3-9 are a buck, babies are free, and you get a double feature. Best of all the drive in is an experience. Come early, bring a grill and cook out. Bring your own beverages of any kind, though they frown upon glass bottles. Bring a playpen and stick the little ones in it. BYO anything, except pets. The drive in experience has greatly improved since we've been going. Just about everyone is nice, and if you run out of ketchup, need napkins etc, ask a neighbor. It's a communal thing, and it's very unique and loads of fun. Especially if you are hosting a birthday party or slumber party, a buck for a first run film and a pizza goes a long way to happy kids.
The Drive in is on Moreland ave, south of I-20. Come early, or you'll wait a long time to get in. Bring blankets and pillows and enjoy 2 first run films. Come willing to meet new folks and you'll have a grand experience. Bring cash, they do have an ATM, but it goes faster if you bring cash. A little warning, the bathrooms tend to run out of supplies after the first film. BYOTP is not a bad idea.
And please be courteous and clean up after yourself.

We know many communities and churchs have family movie nights. Please let us know if you know of any of those. Our goal this summer is get you the best in dirt cheap or free entertainment! Be sure to catch our radio show on Radio Sandy Springs 1620 am, streaming live on Thursday nights at 7 and you can download podcasts on radiosandysprings.com.